Thursday, August 30, 2007


As a former teacher, I am well aware of first impressions that are set by the students and the parents. I always knew which parents would give me a hard time. I could tell which student had parents helping at home. Unfortunately, I also knew what students barely had anyone to give them a second look.

When I started sending Lauren to school, I quickly found myself on the other end of things. I became instantly aware that Lauren is a reflection on me and my skills as a parent. Whether I liked it or not. Before preschool started, she would run around here with a pull-up, a stained shirt, and one blue Princess shoe. When I send her to school, she is wearing shirts that smell like fabric softener fresh out of the dryer. I used to bathe her every few days when I could muster up some energy. Now she gets a bath every other night. I don't want to have the smelly kid at school.

I feel a little hypocritical. It's ok for her to run around smelly at my house, but not in front of other people? It's ok to run around half naked and dirty at home, but never dare take her out looking like that? Please tell me that I am not the only one who does this. If I am the only one, please pretend that you didn't read this. I'll just be waiting at my door for the Mother of the Year award in case anyone asks.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Preschool Update

As far as I can tell Lauren is having a great time at preschool. She has gotten two green smiley faces for the two days she was there this week. Her teacher said that the kids really love her. That warmed my heart. I will say, however, that I turned into a big nerd since Lauren went to school. It's only the second day and I was the third car in line to pick her up this afternoon. Not because I missed her or I wanted to beat the rush. I had to come from work and pick her up. I apparently drive fast because I got there much quicker than I expected. So I sat in line and tried to find people to call so I looked like I had a life when the other moms drove up 30 minutes later.

Lauren almost falls asleep in the car seat when we drive home. Every time I looked back at her today she was yawning. I'll take it as a good sign. The only thing that alarms me is the fact that her arms feel like blocks of ice when she comes out of the building. It may be that the air conditioning is up too high and I will need to dress her a little warmer. Or, I spent too much time waiting like a nerd in the hot car and she only feels cold because I am about to die from heat stroke.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Surprise, Surprise

Well, yesterday was to be the day that Lauren got her hearing aids. Is anyone surprised that it didn't happen? At this point, I'm not either. I got a call on Friday afternoon from a nurse telling me that my appointment for Monday was cancelled due to the fact that the paperwork from the government was not back. Therefore, they can not give me the hearing aids until the approval was in their hands. The worst part? The hearing aids are sitting at their office in Charlotte collecting dust. Maybe I could sneak over there and take them without anyone seeing. I was told that as soon as they come in, I will have priority in getting an appointment. I am hoping that translates into getting me in no matter what. Now we just hurry up and wait until the paperwork gets there. I was told that it would be any day now. I'll keep you posted. We might just have a party if aids ever get into Lauren's ears.

Monday, August 27, 2007

First Day

In about an hour I am going to take Lauren and drop her off for the first day of preschool. The class really started last week, but Lauren was in PA. It's the first day for us. I should be excited and I am for the most part. I realized this morning however, that I am a little sad, too. The reason I am sad is a little bit selfish. Lauren won't be able to tell me how her day went. Parents aren't allowed in, no problem. I get that. But as all the other kids are coming to their cars in the afternoon and telling their parents what their day was like, I will get a smile and silence. That breaks my heart. I think about all the fun things I will miss hearing. I won't get to hear the excitement as she tells me about all her friends she met. She can't tell me if she is scared. I won't know what she had for snack. I won't get to hear about the songs she sang. I am left to guess and hope that she had a good day. I don't get another 'first day' and it makes me cry thinking about what I don't get to share with my daughter. Why can't I just have something normal like other parents have? Is it too much to ask for one thing to be exciting and fun? I was up all night with a tension headache and a pit in my stomach wondering if she will have a good day and realizing that it might be a long time before she can tell me if she did. Like I said, it's selfish why I am sad. Will this be my life? Pits in my stomach and headaches every time something new happens. That's not fair and I am over it. Time to wipe away the tears, get strong, and face this new challenge head on. One of these days I'll be glad to face new adventures. I just hope it comes soon.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Oh Bladder, Where art Thou?

I have just come to the realization that having a kid messes up your body. I knew about the extra weight that may come and I was ok with it. What I am not ok with is the fact that some of my internal organs were not what I thought they were. Case in point, my bladder. I was jumping on the trampoline with my niece and nephew today. I was enjoying myself and getting my confidence up to start showing off for the kids. I wanted to be the cool aunt who does flips on the trampoline and awes the pants off of them by doing a split in mid-air while touching my toes. Half way up in the air I remembered that I was 31 and had an 8 pound baby resting on my bladder for the better part of nine months. It didn't end well. I went up in the air while my bladder and it's contents stayed behind. Gravity was not my friend today. I had to stop and explain to my niece and nephew why aunt Amy needed to go inside and borrow a pair of their mom's shorts. I got a nice piece of humble pie and the knowledge that I can't do the things I could do prior to having kids. It's a sad day when you realize your youth is slipping away. I need to go do some laundry now.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Parent Advisory

Since I am spending the week in PA, I thought you would like to learn the names of little known towns here in my home state. They are real names of real towns in Pennsylvania. I would love to know what the people were thinking when they came up with these names. I couldn't make this stuff up.

In no particular order:

1) Bird-In-Hand, PA
2) Blue Ball, PA
3) Intercourse, PA
4) Jugtown, PA
5) Burning Well, PA
6) Large, PA - I was actually there today...It was pretty small, ironic isn't it?
7) Scalp Level, PA
8) Butztown, PA
9) Lickdale, PA
10) Zip Down, PA

Is it any wonder Northerners are crazy? Feel free to insert your own jokes at anytime.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Toys Are Ruined

One of the things that my mom likes to do when Lauren is around for a visit is get her a toy of some kind. It's really cute and I appreciate the kindness every time. I remember when I would go to my grandma's house. My brother and I would get our very own can of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles. It's a wonderful memory. I am glad Lauren will have the same type of fondness when he thinks about time spent with her Grammy.

The one thing that sort of stinks is me. Not literally, I did shower today. I mean that I tend to get in the way of the memory. Since Lauren loves anything in a plastic package, she doesn't really have an opinion as to what Grammy should buy. So my mom asks me what Lauren would like. Then it kicks in. I call it "therapy syndrome" and it really sucks. I don't look at toys the same way other people do. Some parents like Dora, others like the Princesses from Disney. Not me. Nope. That would be too easy. My brain sees toys as having a potential therapeutic outcome. For some reason I can look at any toy and tell you how it will help Lauren practice or develop some muscle or fine motor ability. Toys are ruined for me. For example, I wanted to get Lauren a View Master (the toy where the circles slide in and you pull down the handle to get a new picture). Not because they are way cooler than when I was a kid, but because it would help her right hand by pulling the handle and develop speech by trying to tell me what she sees. It's sad that the toy stores have lost their magic for me. I guess I will need to go to New York and visit F.A.O. Schwartz. Maybe the biggest toy store in the world will snap me out of it. There's nothing better than a giant piano you jump on to make you feel like a kid again.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

She Did What?

So I am in Sam's Club today when the most horrifying thing happened. Lauren and I went with my parents to help with the shopping trip since my mom is under doctor's restrictions on lifting things until she is completely healed from the surgery. We were moving right along when Lauren decided that riding in the cart was not as fun as running around trying to lift bulk items that were the same size as her entire body. She started getting silly and running behind my mom and patting her on her butt. The patting quickly turned to pinching. She thought that this was the greatest game in the world. Here we were on a Sunday afternoon at a store where half of the population Pittsburgh decided to go shop today and Lauren thinks that every person was there just to play with her. Lauren spotted a woman minding her business looking for the perfect pineapple. Maybe she was making her elderly mother a nice fruit salad. Maybe she was going to a picnic and needed a refreshing treat to bring along. What she got was a lot more than she wanted. She had no idea that she was about to be a player in Lauren's little game whether she wanted to or not. I guess Lauren was tired of grammy's butt. Lauren walked over to this lady wearing a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and a pair of cut-off jean shorts that were about two sizes too small. She looked up and reached out her hand. Before I could stop her, Lauren pinched her butt. To make it worse, she just stood there with a smile on her face and her hands folded in front of her as if daring the woman to say anything to her. I saw it coming about ten seconds before it happened. It felt as if I was going in slow motion as both me and my mom tried to grab her hand before it met the stranger's rear end. We were too late. There was a definite pinch and a look of shock on this woman's face. I could see the shock turn to relief when she saw Lauren smiling up at her. No harm done. I guess in a way it was God giving the lady a warning that anyone still wearing a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt at her age should get a swift kick to the butt.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Hip, Hip, Hurray!

I am pleased to report that we have successfully continued the potty training here in the great white north. Lauren and I are in PA this week to spend some time with the family. I was very nervous about the transition on the potty side of things. It was going so good before we left, I wasn't sure how she would do in an unfamiliar potty environment. I guess if you've seen one potty, you've seen them all. A three year old's taste in bathrooms aren't very discriminating. When you gotta go, you gotta go! We have had great success and Lauren has used the potty correctly everyday so far. I am so glad because I don't know if my mom has a poo bucket!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Tushy Wushy

Sometimes I want to get a running start and take a flying leap towards my daughter's bare tushy and pinch it until it comes off and I can put it in my pocket.

Is that wierd?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Preschool Open House

After being a teacher for over 9 years, I am finally on the other end of an Open House. I know that it's only preschool but it still feels funny. As a teacher I got excited to meet the parents. They decided how my year would be according to how high strung they were with the teachers from the grade before. Now, I know that this isn't like elementary school. It's preschool that meets three days a week. It's also the beginning of the yearly explanation of all the things that Lauren will need to make her school experience successful. It will be the conversation with the teacher explaining that she will need to be up in the front of the room to minimize the background noise. I will have to tell the teacher that she needs to wear a microphone during class that feeds right into Lauren's hearing aids so that she can hear the teacher over all the noises in a classroom. In the first few years, Lauren will probably need help opening baggies or containers in her lunch box. Who knows how long it will be until she can tie her shoes with only being able to use her left hand. Will the teacher be annoyed that she has to do all this extra stuff? These are the things I think about when I think about school. Will the teacher be able to understand what she is trying to tell her? Will the kids be nice to her and help her out? I know what she needs and it's hard to let go of that comfort and just hope others will be able to do it, too. Does that sound crazy?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Stages of Grief

I got a visit from the Beginnings program yesterday. It's a non-profit advocacy group that parents sign up for after they receive a diagnosis of hearing impairment for their child. This program will be available to Lauren until she is 21 years old. They will refer you to doctors, help you find support groups, be an advocate, come to IEP meeting, or anything that a parent might need to handle the road that comes before them. When Erin came, she brought a book that explains everything and anything you would want to know about hearing impairment. There's a lot of reading. I feel like I'm in college again only this time I will actually read it and not buy the Cliff Notes.

Anyway, I was shocked when I came to the chapter about grieving. They say that parents of hearing impaired children actually grieve when they find out that their child can't hear. It said that parents often go through the same stages of grief that people go through when they lose a loved one: Shock, Anger, Guilt, Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Acceptance, and Action. After I thought about it for a minute, it makes sense. It's like you mourn the loss of what you thought life was going to be like with this precious baby in front of you. If you dreamed about being a mom for your entire life and something like a disability hits your child, it would be easy to see why the stages of grieving would come into play.

I have no idea what stage I would be at right now. I was definitely shocked when I heard the diagnosis. Lauren's speech therapist was as well. None of us thought it would be as severe as it turned out to be on paper.

I am still angry sometimes. I am angry that my child has more than one disability to face. I have said to myself many times, 'It's not fair'. I get angry that life isn't easy with a special needs child. It isn't easy and there is no indication that it ever will be. Why me? Why can't I have the 'normal' kid and do the stuff everyone gets to do?

I have a lot of guilt. Maybe if I was more determined when all the 500 tests that we did came back inconclusive we would have had the hearing aids earlier. Maybe if I would have eaten better during pregnancy this would have never happened. Maybe I should have taken different prenatal vitamins. These things run through my head every once in a while. It's a lot of weight to carry.

I get depressed sometimes. I turns out to be more of a feeling of being blue and droopy at times. I don't feel that I would ever be 'depressed' in a clinical term. I can't imagine feeling so bad that I can't get out of bed in the mornings. That's just not in my personality and I know that the friends around me would never let me get to that point. They would drag my sorry butt somewhere and snap me out it. But I do get blue. It's short lived but still there.

I'm not sure about anxiety. I get nervous when we go to doctor's appointments. Not because I think the will do anything bad. I am just afraid that I will reach my limit and lose my witness while I'm there. You can't really tell anyone you are a christian when your shoe is in there behind. I worry about her and making friends, getting picked on, or feeling left out. I worry about what I am going to tell her when it happens.

Wherever I am in the stages, I am so glad I can work through them on this blog. Knowing that I have a support group with all of you makes this whole thing a little easier. You listen to me and encourage me daily. I don't know where I would be without your love and support. I can't put into words what you all mean to me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Baby Gates Rock

Usually the baby gate is designed to keep the baby from going somehere they shouldn't go. There's no exception to that rule in this house. We bought a baby gate to keep Lauren in her room at night. We would find her in the hallway sitting in front of our room at 4 am. She wouldn't be making a sound, just sitting there like a stalker waiting for us to wake up. Well, now we use it for a different reason. We use it to keep her out of her room during the day. Sound mean? It won't in a minute.

I was talking to my mom yesterday afternoon when the rest of the house went dead silent. Not good. That means Lauren is concentrating on doing something she knows she shouldn't do. While trying to focus on what my mom was saying, I started the hunt for the source of the mischeif. I turned the corner to Lauren's room and nearly fell over. I actually lost my breath and everything went slow motion. Lauren had climbed Everest! Ok, it was her dresser, but she was still really high in the air. She had climbed on her rocking chair then onto her dresser. When I got there she was standing on the dresser trying to pull out a ceramic Pooh figurine that was on the shelf above her. Her little ankle was dangling off the dresser. I think my heart actually stopped for a minute. After my heart started to function again, I was amazed that she was able to do this without her brace on. That amazement was replaced with fear again after remembering she was high enough to break a bone or two if she fell. I have the phone in one hand and I tuck Lauren under my other arm like a football. She was laughing so hard as I lowered her to the ground. As soon as her feet hit the floor she was back on the rocking chair doing it again. Now it was a game. She's a quick little one. She loved it when I would get her just as her knee was on the dresser and I picked her up and placed her on the ground. I'm sure it would have been a little easier to call my mom back and put down the phone. I was loving the adult conversation and, by golly, I was going to finish that phone call. After about the third time of pulling Lauren down and listening to her laugh from her belly, my arm got tired. So I escorted Lauren out of her room, closed the door and walked back down the hallway listening intently to my mom's story. Then I remembered that Lauren can open doors now and turned right back around. She was already on the dresser again. So I put up the baby gate while we were both out of the room and walked back down the hall. As I sat on the edge of the couch to finish the call and catch my breath, I looked back at Lauren's room. The little stinker was trying to climb over. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye with a smirk on her face and a foot on the gate. Even though she was never close to actually climbing over, I knew that it would only be a matter of time. I hope this is not an indication that she will run away with the circus and become a high wire act.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Feeling Blue

Had a confusing, sleepless weekend.

Feeling a little blue.

I hate feeling sad.

Not much to say today.

Love you guys!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Can You Hear Me Now?

Our family made a decision when we moved to Charlotte to use cell phones instead of getting a land line. We were living at our friends' house for three weeks when we got here and never wanted the hassle of setting one up.

Lauren is at the age where my phone is one of her favorite toys. I have a couple of videos of her that she watches over and over. A picture of the family member or friend calling pops up on the screen whenever they call. This is the feature of the phone that has made my life with Lauren rather entertaining.

Every time my parents call Lauren wants to talk to them. I put the phone on speaker and she has a blast. The funny part is that she is talking directly to the picture not the mouth piece on the phone. You can tell she has a lot to say, only no one knows what it is. When she does learn to talk I think Verizon will be very glad she was born. She is definitely going to keep them in business. Anyway, the even funnier part is that she will 'show' whoever she is talking to something around her. For example, if the dog is nearby, Lauren will actually turn the picture on my phone towards the dog to let the person on the line 'see' Rugby. If they don't acknowledge Rugby right away she will walk the picture closer to him so they can get a better look. I always put the phone on speaker so I can tell the family member or friend what Lauren is doing or they will be there all day. Who knows how close Lauren would get to the dog if they didn't say anything. Once she had a bug bite on her toe and I wasn't paying attention when she was talking to my mom. I looked over to see that my mom's face was sitting directly on her big toe. I am just glad technology doesn't give the ability for smells to travel over phone lines. My mom would have had a nose full!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Momma Always Said

We have all had our moms tell us certain things as kids that has carried with us through adulthood. We turn around and find ourselves saying the same things to our kids like it's coded into our DNA. For example, did you ever get this one?

(While making a silly face at a brother or sister)
"Don't do that, your face will stick that way forever!"

Ever since Lauren started all her therapies, I have been encouraging her to do things that would make most mothers and grandmothers around the world cringe. Allow me to show you a glimpse of our world.

During a typical Physical therapy session I see:

1) Lauren being encouraged to climb onto the fireplace hearth and jump as high as she can off of it several times. It builds strength in her legs by climbing up a step and helps her to learn to rely on the weaker right leg.

In the back of my head, I hear: "Get down off that thing, you're going to break a leg."

During a typical speech therapy session I see:

1) Lauren blowing bubbles in her milk with a straw. It helps her strenghten the muscles in her mouth thereby helping her mouth get ready to form words.

I hear: "That's not how we drink our milk, you're being unlady-like."

During a typical Occupational therapy session I see:

1) Lauren drawing on her right hand with some sort of writing instrument. She is actually coloring in her finger nails on the right hand with a blue pen. It forces her to spread her right hand and stretch the muscles.

I hear: "Stop. The chemicals from the ink are going to soak into your skin and you will get sick."

I guess as a mother of a special needs child you need to pick and choose your battles. If Lauren ever comes over to your house to visit, please show a little grace. If she decides to start jumping on your bed or drawing on your family pet, it was probably something she learned in therapy.

Thursday, August 9, 2007


Hearing aids are coming August 27th! Can I get a 'Hallelujah'? We got fitted for the molds and Lauren hated every minute of it. They put a tiny cotton ball attached to a string all the way in her ear to the eardrum. Then they used a syringe to fill her entire ear with a gooey blue substance that solidified in about five minutes. Have you ever tried to keep a 2 1/2 year old with runny blue goop in her ear calm for five minutes at a time? I was literally breaking a sweat holding her hands away from her ears.

The only down side was the comments the doctor was saying after she took out the hardened blue stuff. They went a little like this:

Doctor: Well, I would have liked them to be a little longer, but I think this might work. It should be long enough for her to hear.

WHAT? Excuse me? SHOULD and THINK are not to be used in front of a mom who has been to three doctors without anything to show for it. I am going to should and think my foot right into her mouth if we get these aids and they don't work. As soon as we get these aids and we remove my size 7 from the doctor's mouth, we are going to go to Chapel Hill and continue Lauren's services. They are the best in the state for kids with hearing impairments. It's worth the 2 hour drive and I won't have to replace any of my shoes.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

3rd Time's a Charm

Today at 2:00 a doctor will either be very happy that I am in her office or leaving with some type of broken appendage. Lauren has an appointment to get her ear molds fitted for her hearing aids. This is the third doctor's appointment for hearing aids in 4 weeks. I am cautiously optimistic that we will actually accomplish our goal of leaving with the knowledge that hearing aids are on the way. We will see. Pray that it all goes well and that Josh VanAlmen (my friend's police officer husband) does not have to come to the office and arrest me for trying to strangle an audiologist. It's really hard to write a blog from jail.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


Don't ask me how or why, but I stumbled across a Dear Abby article that featured a poem that caught my eye. It was written by Edna Massimilla from Hatboro, PA. If you are a mother of a special needs child, your efforts don't go unnoticed. If you are a friend of a mother with a special needs child, go give them a hug, they probably need one. Enjoy...


A meeting was held quite far from Earth
It was time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the Lord above --
This special child will need much love.
Her progress may be very slow
Accomplishment she may not show.
And she'll require extra care
From the folks she meets down there.
She may not run or laugh or play
Her thoughts may seem quite far away
So many times she will be labeled
'different,' 'helpless' and 'disabled'.
So, let's be careful where she's sent.
We want her life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they are asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith, and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is heaven's very special child.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Poo Bucket

Warning: If you are prim and proper this is not the post for you. If you are easily offended and your delicate persona cannot handle descriptive visual images, please discontinue reading. Consider yourself warned.

There are certain times in your life where something happens to remind you what life is really like. You do the same things day in and day out until, BAM, you remember what you were put on this earth for. Mine came in the form of a Poo Bucket.....

We decided that it was time for young Lauren to use the potty. To be honest, it was time for us to help out our pocketbook and stop buying diapers. Either way, it was time. I would try to get Lauren to understand the concept of using the potty in the past, but all she wanted to do was wad up the toilet paper and wipe. I decided we would bite the bullet and buy big girl undies. My theory? Let her pee all over the place before we get new carpet and hopefully she will hit the toilet every once in a while. There is nothing funnier than seeing Lauren get a look of panic on her face and seeing her little legs run down the hall with a stream of pee following her all the way. I almost wet myself following behind her laughing and jumping over the little puddles she leaves behind. It's the best when Rugby thinks that he's missing out and tries to run with us. Then we have a few seconds to get Lauren's panties down and on the toilet after hurdling over pee puddles and trying to do all of this without tripping over Rugby in the hallway. You really need to be here to see it. You'll never be the same. Anyway, I digress. There were many times when she missed her 30 second window and had an accident in her pants. Most of the time it was just pee. The problem arose when the poo got in the way. Long story short. I can't throw away poo panties. So I needed a new tool. This was the BAM moment that made me remember that I am a mom. I found a Poo Bucket. Not only did I find it, I was proud that I thought of it, happy that it worked, and wanted to call someone to share the victory about it. I'm a momma because I love my Poo Bucket. I fill it with eight pounds of detergent and some water and let it soak, baby, soak. I came back to my Poo Bucket after a while and started laughing at the realization that my life is so much different than I pictured as a kid. I always knew that I would be a mom someday and that someday was here. No one told me that you would have to think about Poo Buckets and pee puddles. You don't picture that when you are setting up your tea parties for all your stuffed animals. Poo buckets or not, I wouldn't change a thing!

Saturday, August 4, 2007


I have been tagged by my friend, Erin. Miss you lady!

Four Jobs:
1) Playground attendant at McDonalds
2) Daycare person
3) Teacher
4) Mother

Four Places I've Lived:
1) Bethel Park, PA
2) Slippery Rock, PA
3) Grove City, PA
4) Charlotte, NC

Favorite TV Shows:
1) Lost
2) Big Brother
3) Hell's Kitchen
4) Scrubs

1) Funyuns
2) Wings from Quaker Steak and Lube
3) Pizza Hut salads
4) anything chocolate

Places I'd rather be:
1) on the beach
2) Hickory visiting my friend Krista
3) swimming
4) sitting on someone's couch chatting

Favorite movies:
1) Ever After
2) The Net
3) Tombstone
4) Where the Heart Is

Tag Time:
1) Dunn Funn
2) Judith
3) AspergersKitty
4) Rick

Friday, August 3, 2007

What Would You Choose?

I recently started thinking about the challenges that Lauren might face having a hearing impairment. If she has to take her hearing aids out at night, will she hear the fire alarm? When she gets married, will she be able to hear her baby's first words? Can she hear the whistle from a lifeguard at the pool? I have no idea what she can and cannot hear, so it always gets me wondering. Then I had a thought. If I had to lose one of the 5 senses, which one would I choose? I think sometimes it would be cool to lose the sense of smell so I could eat all the healthy food I want and it wouldn't taste bad. It just wouldn't taste like anything. I would be skinny and life would be great. I would miss the smell of Lilacs, though. Not sure if I would chose that one. Sight? No question, never! I am a visual learner so if I lost that one I would be in big trouble. Hearing, nope. There is nothing that moves me more than the perfect chord of my favorite song or Lauren's giggle that comes just when I need it most. Not sure about touch. It would be great to get a shot and feel nothing, but I would miss the feel of Lauren's soft, little cheek resting against my hand. I am at a loss, really. I guess that's why God doesn't let us choose. So, I guess it's your turn. If you had to choose, what would you pick?

Thursday, August 2, 2007

9 Years and Counting

Yesterday was our 9 year wedding anniversary. There is so much that happens in your life over that long of a time frame and you get to share every bit of it with someone you love. It's really pretty cool if you think about it. I sometimes feel like we just got started.

Ty surprised me last night with an 'anniversary adventure'. Now, Ty usually stinks at surprises because he gets so excited that he makes rookie mistakes. He will accidentally leave a note lying around and I see it or forget to have a phone conversation out of earshot. The biggest giveaway is when I guess the surprise correctly. Ty can't lie so if I guess something close to what he planned, he gets a huge goofy grin on his face and his cheeks get red. It happens every time. Maybe I should be a nice wife and not guess...too bad. Once I found out that there was a surprise on the horizon it was game on. I think if I had a super power I would want to make you tell me what you were thinking no matter what. Kind of like Wonder Woman's lasso of truth (Come on...who's with me?). I love surprises but they drive me crazy until I know what they are. I have no ability to delay gratification. Ty did not smile or blush one time. He never cracked or gave me ANY clue about the night. I just knew that he had arranged a babysitter (thanks Allison, you rock!) and we were to leave the house promptly at 5pm. He told me what I needed to wear ( a general idea, not crazy psycho man who picks out his wife's clothes), and he put something in the back of the car. I threw every question I could think at him with no avail. I had no clue where we were going until we passed a sign. Ty got my attention and I missed the first one that was near the exit we were taking. He wasn't counting on the seven others that included arrows to show the direction to go. Eventually I spotted a sign for Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. I knew we were going to a concert. Ty got us tickets to the John Mayer concert and I had no earthly idea it was coming. I hadn't been to a concert since New Kids on the Block. Ok, maybe not that long ago, but close. We had so much fun. I had more fun watching all the crazy weirdos around me. There are some whack jobs that come out when a concert comes to town. Minus the occasional drunk stumbling around and the hint of pot in the air, I had a fabulous time.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Doctor's Offices are the Devil

As I hinted in the last post, I had a rough time at Lauren's last appointment. It was the worst one by far. Not because it was hard to see her at the doctor's yet again. It was hard because doctor's offices are the devil. What other business can make you wait weeks to get in, make you sit in the waiting room however long they want to, and charge you out the wazoo. It baffles me. Anyway, I had an appointment to get Lauren fitted for her hearing aids on Wednesday, July 25th. (Keep in mind that this is the second time I have tried to get these things.) The last doctor sent me to this office because Lauren was too young for him. I thought everything was ready to go and we would be walking out of this appointment poised to take the next step in Lauren's development. WRONG!!!! I get to the desk to sign in and the receptionist told me that I never had an appointment. I waited two weeks to get this one, I wasn't leaving until I saw an audiologist. Poor lady, she had no idea what was coming. The receptionist went to talk to someone in the back office and came out to tell me that she could make another appointment or I can wait and see if she could fit me in. What? I don't think she could have picked a more incorrect thing to say to me. In a nut shell I told her that someone in her office told me exactly what to bring so I obviously made the appointment in the first place. I said that I did my job by making the appointment so I don't care what you do I will be seeing someone about hearing aids. I would not be leaving without getting them fitted and I don't care who I see. I will not be waiting very long to see an audiologist. I got in 15 minutes later. When I got back to see the audiologist, she left for 30 minutes to check on my insurance. To make a long story short, she came back and said that she doesn't feel comfortable treating Lauren today because she had no idea if the hearing aids would be covered. So, yes, she referred me to yet another doctor. I asked how long it would take to get another appointment. She said anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks. I lost it in the office. I was so mad that I just cried. I couldn't say a word, I just cried. The doctor didn't know what to do, Ty didn't know what to do and Lauren just kept wiping tears from my eyes with a Kleenex. It was pitiful. Oh well, The good news is that I have another appointment on the 8th of August. What's even better is that the whole shooting match is free. The newest doctor accepts something called Assistive Technology. What that means is every piece of equipment Lauren needs to hear better will be totally free to me. I don't have to pay for a hearing aid or a battery and everything in between until she is 21 years old. By then she better have a job and paying for them herself.