Ladies and Gentleman, the wait is over. My pink shirt-wearing Marine husband is about to shed his wisdom. Enjoy!So…I was asked to guest blog about the whole fashion thing. And I agreed. Not because I consider myself any kind of authority, but only at the continued, and continued, and continued urging of my lovely wife.
Not quite sure how to go about this. I’m not really the flashiest dresser. I guess I just know my own personal style, and when the budget allows I try to keep it fresh and updated so I don’t look like I hopped off the fashion train somewhere around Z Cavaricci or double-breasted suits. I think there equal parts do’s and don’t’s that together might provide some guidance. Here goes:
1) Find your style. Especially guys. If you’re a Gap guy, be a Gap guy and don’t go running out to buy the latest thing if it doesn’t fit into to being a Gap guy. If you’re the type to always buy the latest thing, then be that guy, but it takes a lot more money and a lot more attention to what’s going on. If you are already that guy, you don’t need this list.
2) Know what you like. It’s not a bad thing to know what you like. Too many guys think that showing the lightest interest in how they look means they are a girl. No, it means you’re a badly dressed person who people look at and assume that you probably can’t name a band that came out in the past 5 years and have a cassette of Journey in your Walkman. (Not to be confused with someone who simply appreciates a little classic rock and has downloaded it to their iPod….”don’t stop...believein’...hold onto that feeling”…sorry.)
3) Well dressed doesn’t mean you always sport the latest style with the latest accessory and are always riding the edge of fashion. Ralph Lauren has been making light blue oxford shirts and khaki chinos for 40 years and they are as classic and fashionable as they ever were. Just make sure your shirt isn’t 40 years old and your chinos contain no pleats. And…your chinos should be khaki. There should be no forest green or navy chinos…no matter what Dockers told you. Just because they are in the store doesn’t mean you should by them. And I don’t care how they match your shirt. Your pants shouldn’t match your shirt, you are not in grade school.
4) NO PLEATS. I know, you think they are forgiving and that flat fronts will make you look fat and must be confining. Right, because that big bunch of cotton formed by your double pleated trousers makes you look so much thinner. By the way, this goes for ladies too. Just say no. Suit trousers may have pleats, but try to find a brand that offers a single pleat so that you don’t look like you’re ready for Hammer Time.
5) Buy nice shoes. Guys don’t have much to show off. We don’t have handbags, or jewelry, or hair accessories. You have to make the most of the few things that can set you apart. Invest in good shoes. Buy a nice watch. Bracelets are for the Sopranos, keep the necklaces minimal. If you have something around a wrist or neck, it should have some personal value or meaning to you. Guys don’t wear jewelry to be pretty, but rather to tell a story or show some personality.
6) Buy the right size. Nothing looks worse than people wearing the wrong size, big or small. Don’t buy XXL because you think it will hide the fact that you are XL and make you look like a Large. Wrong, you will look like a sloppy XXXL. Extra fabric makes you breathe easier, I know, but it doesn’t make you look better. On the other hand, I know you’ve been a 34 since 10th grade, but you know, God decided that you would grow into a 36 or 38. Unless you are buying clothes with the size printed on the outside, and you shouldn’t be, bite down, and go up a size. Then…get your favorite Journey album on your iPod, and go to the gym. After a month, you can put your 34’s back on and call them vintage.
7) I’m going to stick to seven, since that number makes me feel closer to Jesus, and I’m sure Jesus wants you to look and feel your best, too. Just not at the expense of more important priorities, I’m sure. Here’s what you need to do at the end of the day: look in the mirror and feel comfortable. That may mean you can’t always pull off the latest and greatest, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be dressed well, updated, and just one of the crowd. You don’t have to stick out as the best dressed, just try not to stick out for the wrong reasons. Every pair of pants I have are either denim or khaki. And by khaki I mean the color (see #3). Almost all of my shirts are light blue or white, with a few colors thrown in, and all of my sweaters, jackets, and “layering pieces” are navy or black. Not all that exciting, right. It’s just my style. I jazz it up once in a while, but it’s me. Find your style, if the clothes are wearing you, and not the other way around, move on.
There you go. Feel free to get in touch with Amy with any specific questions about socks, ties, stripes vs. plaid, etc. I’m sure she’ll let me know and we can all work to make the world a better place one piece of cotton at a time. And…if you have the chance, and it fits your style…buy Tommy Hilfiger at every opportunity. Had to get a plug in , right? Job security.